The Voice of The Future

Watch ouot Top 5, there's a new guy on the block...Maurice Watkins!


To see and hear fresh talent, check out Maurice's Voiceover Site.

A League Of Their Own

...Masterful!!!

mainCOMIC - The Love Niggas - Swingin'

The Funniest 5 Minute Commercial Ever!

“Before you say anything, prepare to shut the f*ck up,”

I would watch TV ads if they were all like this.

mainCOMIC - The Love Niggas - Supply & Demand

Miles

The unmistakable voice, whether he was talking or blowing. The swagger, before folk even knew what swagger was. So sure was he of his magic that this black warlock would turn his back on those who came to listen, those enraptured by his sound, his one-sided conversation in which no words were spoken. They would listen to the sounds the way one watches smoke rise from the tip of a burning cigarette, smoke and sound rising freely, mystically, beautifully, like spontaneous art guided by some unseen hand. Again--beautiful. Cool. Cool because he made it so, just by virtue of his being. He took what some thought was dying and breathed new life into it, he brought darkness back, blotting out the light, and then threw up his hands and said, simply, 'So what'.

He is the essence of creativity, he is the essence of swagger, his name itself synonymous with revolution in the form of sound. He is the essence of Negro spirituals sung by our teary-eyed ancestors. He is the attitude behind the arrogance of Hip Hop, he is the sweet high note that no one will ever hit quite like he did.

Miles.

Miles

Not was...is.

There will only ever be but one, and we will have him, in sound and spirit, forever.

MILES.

The Deadest Show On Tv Returns

On October 16th, The Walking Dead is back for Season 2 so you still have time to brush up on thefirst season before the meat hits the fan. They have changed producers and I hope that hasn't deteriorate the substance of the show. I don't think it will. If you want to see what's to come in the storyline, pick up the graphic novels by the same name from your local comic book shop or off of the internet. I posted the first episode of the animated version below. With the NFL season back on track and now season 2 of The Walking Dead about to premiere, Sunday nights are about to get a bit better. Niceeee.

mainCOMIC - The Love Niggas

Introducing the guys who invented metrosexuality, Lavar & Giorgio. These two highly refined Afro-Americans are 80's social celebrities that became rich and famous for no apparant reason. They are fashoinistas, creative romance specialists and the papparazzis best friends. This couple of pretty young things aren't gay but they are happy to spread love in the most attractive way possible. Lavar & Giorgio are fine as hell plus they are... the Love Niggas!

Lavar is the epitome of good looking. He is so self consious of his looks that you only see him on what he considers his good side. He has a personal relationship with most of the worlds top fashion designers and often provides insight to them on what the next trend will be. Lavar has a singing voice that can melt the clothes right off of any lady. When his slight symptoms of personal hygiene OCD began to show, look out because he's liable to do a complete overhaul.

Giorgio is a professional ladies man somewhere in between a pimp and a casanova. His romance magnet is so strong that he has even coverted a couple of lesbians to heterosexuality. They were literally a couple, he had a threesome with them but they became so jealous of each other he had to promise to spend equal time with each after he broke up the catfight. Giorgio is a collector of rare and expensive things, a master chef, a lotion expert, a shoeologist, and the first man to have the creases in his slacks professionally stitched in. It has never looked so easy being so cool and Giorgio does it well.


Expect the unexpected as the fabulous adventures of this pampered pair are posted here in the weeks. Guaranteed laughs but at their expense. **As a parental guide, I must warn you that most of the material will be PG-17 Young Adult humor. Also, if you are easily offended by the use of the words "nigga", "ass", "poosy", "scrotum sacks" or "titties" well then you might want to reconsider indulging in this hilarous comic strip. Oh well, your loss. **

Thanks and long live the Love Niggas.

The King (Or 'The Kang' as they call him down South)

Don't find my fascination with Elvis odd. You know I read constantly, and I only like to read things that are of interest to me, and if Elvis isn't interesting material, I don't know what is, man. It's incredible that this guy literally shot out of nowhere and changed the face of America. His influence is felt to this day, in everything from fashion to slang. The three most well-known words on the face of the planet are Coca-Cola, Jesus, and Elvis. We're talking about a guy who died a drugged-up, overweight mockery of himself. And the things surrounding his death, and what he bacame afterwards, are just amazing. He's literally become a god, a mythological figure--a skinny white boy who had the right look and learned everything he knew from blacks. Elvis was in the right place at the right time and he came with the right ammunition, if you can dig it.

I became a huge Sinatra fan several years ago for much the same reason. Sinatra was always around, I mean, I knew who he was when I was a kid, and he always had this cool image. He hung out with Sammy and Dean--Sammy was the cool, suave black man with the key to the world, and I liked Dean because he always had a drink in his hand (I admired that). When I began to seriously listen to Frank's music, I discovered what the true meaning of "star" was. This man led a predestined life, he was sent here to do what he did. One of my all-time favorite records is his live performance of "I've Got You Under My Skin", performed in Vegas with the Count Basie Orchestra. He sings with such confidence, he knows he has the audience in the palm of his bejeweled hand (pinky ring and all). You can almost see him, casually taking tokes off his ever-present cigarette as he sings of how he'll "sacrifice anything come what might/for the sake/of having you near". Frank Sinatra INVENTED the term "A Singin' Motherfucker". Listen to this man sing "Strangers In The Night" and tell me you don't feel where he's coming from. "Fly Me To The Moon" actually changes my mood whenever I listen to it or hum the shit in the shower.

I guess some would call my musical tastes strange, but to me, music is music. If it's good, I can groove to it.

There are two performers who are so well-known that you don't even have to put their entire name on a marquee to pull a crowd. Those performers are "Elvis" and "Sinatra" (not necessarily in that order). I'm just interested in discovering what made them so great.

Sidenote: The actor Nicholas Cage is a huge Elvis fan, owning lots of memoribilia and even going so far as to (briefly) marry The King's nutcase daughter. Eddie Murphy maintains an "Elvis Room" in one of his homes. Singer Bobby Caldwell, best known for his beautiful rendition of "What You Won't Do For Love", now performs in Nevada doing a Frank Sinatra tribute act.

Employee of the Month

Exactly

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stand for something

Dumbass of the Day - Brownie Bummer

The Welcome Mat - Maurice

The experience of trying to think of something to write about is quite unusual for me. I am rarely in that position, facing a blank page and having nothing to put on it. I find myself there now. Writing fiction is much easier--a few characters pop up in your mind, they speak to you, tell you little bits and pieces about themselves. You begin to write, and two or three pages in the characters grab the reigns from you and go off on their own. It's almost as if spirits are speaking through you, telling their own stories through your pen. It's a wondrous feeling, weaving webs, making connections, bringing an entirely fictional being to a semblance of life. Having others read these fictional lives, having people believe them for that moment. It comes naturally, it is something I really do not have to put much thought into. Now sitting here trying to think of something to write is an entirely different thing altogether...but in retrospect I think I did a decent enough job just now.

Alright, then, off you go.

The Most Interesting Memory R.I.P.

Jonathan Goldsmith (September 26, 1938 - April 24, 2011) was an American icon to some, including main and Maurice. He died on April 24, 2011 after a long bout with prostate cancer. Beginning in April 2007 and continuing through 2010, Goldsmith has been featured in a high profile television ad campaign, promoting Dos Equis beer. The campaign, which transformed Goldsmith into a popular culture icon, has been credited for helping to fuel a 15.4 percent sales increase for the brand in America in 2009. "The most interesting man in the world" is a distinguished older, bearded gentleman who is shown through film clips of deliberately varying quality to have led an extremely eventful and colorful life, packed with over-the-top heroism and adventure. There are generally two types of ads: one features the man in a bar environment giving advice or opinion about various subjects, and the other features a narrator describing the man's distinguishing, but frequently absurd, accomplishments. Some examples:

"He is the life of parties he never attended."
"He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt."
"He's won trophies for his game face alone."
"His words carry weight that would break a less interesting man's jaw."
"Sharks have a week dedicated to him."
"He can speak French, in Russian."
Some of the advertisements have featured the man making a short statement on a particular subject, such as:

On Life: "It's never too early to start beefing up your obituary."
On Wingmen: "It doesn't take more than one man to talk to a woman."
On Rollerblading: "No."
On Careers: "Find out what it is in life that you do not do well, and then don't do that thing."
On Lady Luck: "Be wary of a woman who only shows up when you're winning."
On Self-Defense: "The right look should suffice." [Gives an intimidating stare]
On Manscaping: "I have no idea what this is."
On The Gym: "Running in place will never get you the same results as running from a lion."

The Welcome Mat - mainMAN

Hello cruel world.

This blog is the brainchild for two very creative individuals who wish to birth their ideas / notions / comedy / daily dumbness / quotes / cannon fodder / and sometimes bull-ish with you, an unbiased stranger with whom we've never met. My name is main or mainMAN or Mr. Steponyourtoes if you get on my nerves.

I have literally stomp a pinky toe or two when people refuse to give me my personal space. I'm a pretty cool fella but I am definately not Mr. Nice Guy. However, compared to my brother from other and fellow blogmaster, Maurice, I am a saint. He's the bad cop to my good cop. Hopefully, you'll met him soon enough. Til then, enjoy and as my interesting friend use to say who didn't drink beer but when he did, he drank Dos Equis; "Stay thirsty, my friend."